|Marylandiad Part I:
by Brittany Whyte
Once you get down to South County,
The laws of grammar annihilate themselves.
I just came back from the country, so I can't hardly
say nothin' that make sense no more.
If you see a sign depicting a crab sitting in an antique car,
playing the banjo, you don't need to buy new glasses.
The crab plays his banjo in the old convertible
because nothing happens in South County
without a chance for people to show off
the junk cars that adorn their lawns.
Bluegrass festival and antique car show!
Craft bazaar and antique car show!
Tractor pull and antique car show!
I hope I die in South County
so I can have a
funeral and antique car show.
I don't mean to pick on the place where I grew up.
No, I think I'll go pick on my dobro.
Let everyone else pick crabs
or pick out new parts for their cars
down at the dump.
Nobody will believe me if I say
I saw strange things in Galesville,
or that I had regular correspondence
with benevolent woodland trolls,
or that my old house contained
the small island nation of Tamigo,
or that my family once celebrated
a holiday called Gishmelding,
but it's all true.
My sister and I hung mittens on
a lamp shade on Gishmelding Eve,
and sure enough, the next morning,
Uncle Jerky had filled them with pencils.
No wonder I grew up to become
All that time sitting in the v-berth
aboard the Appariton writing nonsense
probably roasted my brain.
It always took considerable coaxing
to get me out above deck.
I would come out now,
but only if someone in the cockpit
could break out a tub of that
Happy Hour port wine cheddar
© 2007 prickofthespindle.com
Brittany Whyte grew up in southern Maryland where she has been writing poetry since she was old enough to write. She studied Spanish at Goucher College in Baltimore and abroad at the University of Salamanca in Spain. Although she was enchanted with Salamanca, she still has a certain fondness for her home state. She now works for the Maryland Governor's Commission on Hispanic Affairs. In her spare time, she reads, sings, and plays the bass guitar.